A girl with too many thoughts...

Sunday, 10 July 2016

First Driving Lesson!

I'm going to be honest here. The idea of sitting in some random car, with a complete stranger, down a quiet road, for 2 whole hours doesn't fill me with confidence...

Learning to drive is something I've been putting off ever since I turned 17. That was 1 year and 9 months ago. During that time, I have had various friends pass their test, numerous people ask me if I am learning, when I am going to learn, if I am going to wait until after University etc.

The persistent questions have gotten to me and I can't take it anymore. I need to learn how to drive!

The truth is, I really want to - but I'm scared. And what do I do when I'm scared? I ignore it completely, pretend it isn't happening and block it out as much as possible. Seems like a good plan to me! (for the record, it's really not a good plan)

However, now my exams have finished, I told myself it is about time I faced up to my fear and booked a driving lesson. Just one lesson, just to see how I get on. So that's exactly what I did. In 48 hours time, I would have endured my first ever driving lesson. I never thought I'd see the day...

It comes as no surprise to me that I am horrifically nervous. I mean, the phone call was hard enough, but now the actual lesson is drawing ever closer and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't crapping myself. I'm not saying that is abnormal, I'm sure most first-time drivers are nervous - but me and anxiety just don't mix well. After all, I get nervous enough just making a sandwich.

The funny thing is, it's not the idea of driving that is making me nervous - it's the fact that I must have this lesson with some stranger, whom I have no clue what they're going to be like. The worst part is I can't escape for 2 hours.

And of course, it wouldn't be my brain without the odd catastrophisation (if that's even a word). For example, 'what if the instructor is actually a murderer' and 'what if he kidnaps me'...

You can always count on me to think up the most constructive and calming thoughts in these sorts of situations!

So that is my life right now - waking up every morning to the sudden panic when I think today is the dreaded day. Then realising it isn't but I'm going to freak out about it anyway! We'll just have to see how it goes (if I don't cancel it beforehand, which is very probable at this present moment).
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2 comments

  1. I am wishing you good luck. I totally understand the fear of being stuck with some stranger for two hours. That can be very daunting. I am sending positive thoughts your way!

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    1. Thank you. I am sure it will be fine - I have the tendency to overthink these sorts of situations! :)

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