A girl with too many thoughts...

Thursday, 28 July 2016

Worrying About The Future

Worrying about the future is something that I find myself doing all too often. For me, the future is filled with many uncertainties, and usually leaves me with innumerable unanswered questions. Nonetheless, thinking about the future is something which we cannot escape from.

In all walks of life, we are encouraged to consider our future; whether that is in school, in work or just in life in general. We are always faced with questions about what comes next and can feel forced to plan ahead. For example, in school, you are expected to make important decisions about your future from a young age - and this is something I always used to struggle with. I didn't have the first clue what GCSE's to take, what A-level subjects to study or what occupation I wanted to dedicate my life to! (I still don't).

Sometimes, it's all just too over-whelming - especially when you are constantly battling with your mental health at the same time, something which has certainly been true for me over the past few years. Regaining control over my mental health has been pretty high up on my priority list, and therefore, making plans for my future has gone by the wayside somewhat. Now I'm left feeling a little lost and uncertain as to where I'm going to end up in life; whether I'm actually going to manage to make something of myself or if I will ever achieve something which I can be proud of.

It doesn't help that we are living in such uncertain and chaotic times right now  - something which suffering from anxiety makes me particularly receptive to. I'm repeatedly being told by those older than me that I'm going to find it impossible to get a decent-paying job and will never be able to own a house of my own. This doesn't exactly fill me with confidence about my future, especially as an already self-doubting and insecure human! All I want is to have a bearable job, earn enough to support myself and be able to live comfortably.

At my age,  I should be looking forward to the future. I should be focusing on all of the exciting opportunities that are open to me and all of the new things I will experience, all of the people I will meet. But I'm not. Instead, thinking of the future only fills me with dread. I continuously worry about whether or not I will get good enough grades to get into University, if I will ever get a decent paying job, or if I will ever be able to afford to move out.

What I have come to realise, though, is that worrying isn't constructive. It is not going to help me in any way to achieve what I want to achieve. Nor will it change the course of my life or positively impact my future. In fact, if anything, it will only have the opposite effect.

Constantly worrying about the future will not change it. The only thing that will change it is actively choosing to do things which will help to improve your life for the better. All of that energy that you put into worrying about the future, would be put to much better use by getting involved in activities which will contribute to making your future the best it can possibly be.

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