A girl with too many thoughts...

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Loneliness

Loneliness is a weird emotion. It's also one I experience often, especially at university. When I talk about loneliness, I don't mean physical loneliness. There are loads of people around me here (sometimes too many). I live in student accommodation and so I'm constantly surrounded by the noise of people moving around, talking and playing music.

When I speak of loneliness, I mean mental loneliness. Emotional loneliness. That might not make much sense to some people, but if you often feel like this too, you'll get what I mean. That feeling of being completely and utterly disconnected from others - like you're in your own little bubble. Completely wrapped up in your thoughts and unreachable to the outside world.

I find it difficult to relate to people. I find it difficult to express myself around people. I realise now that this is something I've always struggled with. The only difference being, I'm more aware of it now than I was before. I never feel like people really get me, and I don't really get other people. This leaves me feeling quite alone.

Why am I sitting here writing this now? Because this is how I feel tonight. When my mood gets low I become even more sensitive to loneliness.

This isn't how it should be at my age. This isn't how I'm supposed to spend my years at university. I should be out. I should be socialising. I should be having fun. And yet here I am tonight, consumed by feelings of isolation. Hit with the realisation that I am truly alone and always will be.

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6 comments

  1. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like this.
    This type of loneliness is more common than you think and not spoken about enough!
    I suffer with social anxiety and always find myself feeling like this and it's the worst.

    Getting stuck in your own head is hard and escaping from that is even harder but you can do it.
    I hope the clouds lift and you feel okay again soon!

    Louisa x

    www.loubeeloublogs.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment. I suffer from social anxiety too, so perhaps this is a common symptom of that. I know this feeling will pass in time, I guess sometimes it's just harder to deal with than others.

      Lisa xx

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  2. One thing I have learned from feeling lonely/friendless, is that the people I have met via blogging or Twitter make me feel less alone. There are some lovely people on there!
    I stepped out of my comfort zone last weekend by going to a neighbours' house-warming party (I had only briefly met the neighbours on one occasion beforehand). It was the first party I had been to since New Years Eve 2015 - it was scary, but thankfully I had a great time. I know how it feels to need to stay inside because you don't feel worthy of being around people, so going to this party was a big thing for me!
    I hope you are feeling better today - if you ever need to talk please do DM me x

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    1. I agree, there is such a supportive community on Twitter! It's also great to hear you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. I'm the same in that I often find once I've done it, things turn out alright and I even end up having a good time. Good on you for doing that.

      Thank you for all of your support and the same goes for you, I'm always here to chat. :)

      Lisa xx

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  3. Hi Lisa. Sorry to hear you've been struggling with loneliness. It's such a difficult thing to deal with when you see so many people around you and feel like you're never going to stop feeling lonely. My experience is really similar to yours, I've always found it hard to relate to people and to express myself to others and I think it's to do with my social anxiety. I find it hard to trust people but also I find it hard to connect with people. In the past I've also had negative comments made around friends I've made and this has affected me a lot in feeling able to make friends and get close to people.

    At university o went through the same feelings, I spent the best part of 3 years alone while everyone else was seemingly going out and having fun. All I can say is that when there was less pressure in making friends I was a bit better at it, not perfect but better than before. It's hard to open up but it can be rewarding and I try not to get too paranoid but unfortunately I can't help it. All I can say is people out there for care for you and there are always people out there to support you.

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    1. Hello! Thank you so much for your comment, it's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. I definitely think university can be a difficult time when you struggle with this as, like you said, everybody else seems to be going out and having fun.

      A few people have mentioned this as a symptom of their social anxiety, so I'm starting to recognise it as a symptom of that. I do have a few friends at uni but I just never quite seem to build the same sort of connection with them that they have with other people.

      Thanks once again for your support. :)

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